we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
