I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize