i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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