sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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