I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize