They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
