i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
