My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
