All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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