At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
