They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
this is an emotional support booty call
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
