babies were throwing up all over the place
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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