why didn't you poke me back
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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