Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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