JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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