i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
