Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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