Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
