his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
