final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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