also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
