i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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