my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
