Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
