Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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