I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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