Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
