we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
