just come out here and I will go home with you...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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