hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
