Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
