The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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