So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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