it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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