I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
