Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
