so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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