She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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