he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
