if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize