her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
