so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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