You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
