She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
