those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
