He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
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I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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