OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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