They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it because I queefed?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
