Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
