Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
