Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
