The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
