Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
