how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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