I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize