That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
