Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
