we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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