Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
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what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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