Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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