My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
