I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you inspire me to be a worse person
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
