Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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