chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
